Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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