Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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