and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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