Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
