omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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