i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
