I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
