Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
