Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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