guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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