I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
