I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
