she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The uberlube is also flammable
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
