The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
