I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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