We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
