I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
