bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
As shirtless as possible
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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