She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
