I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How drunk are you?
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