shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
