I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
