he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sarcasm needs its own font
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
NoShamevember. You game?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize