I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
