I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize