If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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