I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
