you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just forgot I was standing up.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
