this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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