i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I deserve this hangover.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
