Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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