When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
