saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
