I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
