She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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