Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
two words...techno handjob
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
