I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
