Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We are two peas in an std pod
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
