she was so not down for the gang bang
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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