belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
