He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
