Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize