Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
honey bunches of taint.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Houston, we have a squirter
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
