that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
