At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
