Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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