Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
