you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
