i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
