sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
