Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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