I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
