God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
