how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
