you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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