Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
