so that wasnt chicken after all
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
