Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize