If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize