ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
