god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
