im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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