You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
